THE BEGINNING OR IS IT THE END

I’m not a troubled girl, believe me, in fact, if you met me, you’d think I was one of the happiest people in the world. 8 months ago, my world came crashing down, the love of my life left me, this may seem trivial to you but to me it was like my world had just crumbled. I went from child to adult with this person, he was my first everything, I went to him for everything, he was part of me, he was the most important thing in my life after God and family, and it all came crashing down one day. We had been having problems for about a year and after a while, he just couldn’t do it anymore, he felt you shouldn’t have to work so hard to be happy. I cried, no wailed for days, weeks, and months and that’s when the trouble really started. I didn’t think it would be too hard to move on, when I had a man I had so many guys chasing after me, it was crazy, but now those men were nowhere to be found, it’s not like I haven’t had toasters but they are few, far between and not ideal. My self confidence has taken a nose dive, I don’t look at myself in the mirror anymore cause I hate what I see, its funny cause I used to think I was as hot as beyonce but my mind doesn’t work like that anymore. Everyone says I’m so independent, they wish they could be as self sufficient as I am, but I’m not independent, I need someone o tell me I’m beautiful, someone to tell me they care and they would always be there for me, someone to tell me they love me, just someone who would ask me how I’m doing and really care about my answer. It just hasn’t been my year, I realized a few things about life and people, I lost a few friends but that will be in my next post. Ciao.