Thank you all for the advice, I’m actually taking it, it’s hard but there’s no point holding on to something that’s not mine right.
Went to school yesterday and they told us our project deadline is 12th, that’s less than a week away, this is after telling us we would have till the end of November, I hate these people for thinking they can be changing their minds like it doesn’t affect peoples lives, well, I got to step up my game, so my project will be done next week.
I have this friend who’s in a relationship with a guy who (u guessed it) has a girlfriend (this thing is going around these days). Anyway it started like this, the guy was chasing her for a while and at first she wasn’t interested but after a while, she relented. Apparently, at that time, he was having issues with his girl, his parents didn’t support the relationship being that they are both AS. The thing has been going up and down for a while, sometimes she’s happy and sometimes she’s sad. Some days back, while he was asleep, she checked his messages and she saw this, “I and girlfriend are going to the registry on November 10th, blah blah”. Apparently, they decided to do it without their parents consent, she didn’t say anything to him, she just went back to sleep, when she called to tell me, it was sounding like Nigerian film to me.
A day or two later, she had this conversation with him,
Girl: what you doing on your birthday (November 10th)
Boy: I don’t know, nothing really
Girl: you sure
Boy: yea
Girl: I heard you are getting married on your birthday
Boy: where did you hear that from?
Girl: somewhere
Boy: I was supposed to but I’ve changed my mind but I haven’t told her yet
He then proceeded to explain to her that the girl is actually SS and the only reason he wanted to go through with it was cause of guilt and they talked and talked. I don’t know if she should believe him, what I told her though was that we should wait and see what happens on November 10th and then they can go from there. What do you guys think???
Friday, 2 November 2007
Tuesday, 30 October 2007
BLOGVILLE HELP!!!
Hey blogville, I’ve missed everyone. Finally I’m done with that place they call UNILAG, you guys can’t even imagine how happy I am, meanwhile, anyone who knows how to work the NYSC thing to Lagos should please holla at your girl ooo, I don’t want to go to Taraba or something like that, nyways let me give you guys small gist.
There’s this certain guy in my life right now, lets call him Dr., nyways I’ve known Dr for about two years now but we never had a real conversation till like last year and even after that we weren’t exactly friends. I had this little crush on Dr that started like a year ago or thereabout, he asked for my number one day and I was jumping up and down and screaming inside, when he called, I played it cool and he didn’t call again, I didn’t call either.
A few months ago, I called a friend to find out where he was, he told me it was Dr’s birthday and he was at Dr’s house, I went oh okay, give me his number let me send him a text. The next day I was at a neighbor’s barbeque, got bored and decided to give Dr a call, the conversation went something like this.
Psykotik: hi, is this Dr
Dr: yea: hey psykotik, got your text, thanks, was meaning to call you
Psykotik: yea, hope u had a nice birthday, so what’s going on with you
Dr: nothing really, what you doing right now
Pykotik: I’m at a neighbor’s barbeque
Dr: I’m not doing anything, should I come over
Psykotik: oh okay, no problem, u need directions?
Dr: nah, I know how to get there
Psykotik: see you soon then
Dr: I’ll be there in approximately 15mins (he has this thing for time)
Okay, I had no intentions when I called him, I was just bored, he came over and we talked and talked and talked, when we finally looked at the time it was almost 1am, we both went WOW, he had to run cus he had work in the morning, when he got home, he sent me a text saying it was nice hanging with me and that was the beginning.
He started coming over regularly, we couldn’t believe how much we clicked. After a while, the kissing and hugging began, then I started thinking, last I heard the nigga had a girlfriend but I didn’t know how to bring it up so I kept on living in bliss. We were constantly texting each other, talking and the feelings kept on growing.
I got drunk one day before he came to see me and when he came over, I spilled my guts, I talked about all the things I never dared say to him before and he also talked, when I woke up the next morning with a hangover the only part of the conversation I remembered was the fact that he said he had a girlfriend.
I’m really sad right now, since then things haven’t felt right obviously, I don’t know if I want to talk about it cause what is there to talk about, I really like him though and I don’t know where to go from here, I kind of tried to end it last week but it’s really hard and I miss him so much, I NEED ADVICE. The issues are he has a girlfriend, she doesn’t stay in Lagos though, his ex is someone I talk to, we aint friends but we have mutual friends, my ex is someone he talks to, kinda like the same situation I have with his ex. HELP!!!
There’s this certain guy in my life right now, lets call him Dr., nyways I’ve known Dr for about two years now but we never had a real conversation till like last year and even after that we weren’t exactly friends. I had this little crush on Dr that started like a year ago or thereabout, he asked for my number one day and I was jumping up and down and screaming inside, when he called, I played it cool and he didn’t call again, I didn’t call either.
A few months ago, I called a friend to find out where he was, he told me it was Dr’s birthday and he was at Dr’s house, I went oh okay, give me his number let me send him a text. The next day I was at a neighbor’s barbeque, got bored and decided to give Dr a call, the conversation went something like this.
Psykotik: hi, is this Dr
Dr: yea: hey psykotik, got your text, thanks, was meaning to call you
Psykotik: yea, hope u had a nice birthday, so what’s going on with you
Dr: nothing really, what you doing right now
Pykotik: I’m at a neighbor’s barbeque
Dr: I’m not doing anything, should I come over
Psykotik: oh okay, no problem, u need directions?
Dr: nah, I know how to get there
Psykotik: see you soon then
Dr: I’ll be there in approximately 15mins (he has this thing for time)
Okay, I had no intentions when I called him, I was just bored, he came over and we talked and talked and talked, when we finally looked at the time it was almost 1am, we both went WOW, he had to run cus he had work in the morning, when he got home, he sent me a text saying it was nice hanging with me and that was the beginning.
He started coming over regularly, we couldn’t believe how much we clicked. After a while, the kissing and hugging began, then I started thinking, last I heard the nigga had a girlfriend but I didn’t know how to bring it up so I kept on living in bliss. We were constantly texting each other, talking and the feelings kept on growing.
I got drunk one day before he came to see me and when he came over, I spilled my guts, I talked about all the things I never dared say to him before and he also talked, when I woke up the next morning with a hangover the only part of the conversation I remembered was the fact that he said he had a girlfriend.
I’m really sad right now, since then things haven’t felt right obviously, I don’t know if I want to talk about it cause what is there to talk about, I really like him though and I don’t know where to go from here, I kind of tried to end it last week but it’s really hard and I miss him so much, I NEED ADVICE. The issues are he has a girlfriend, she doesn’t stay in Lagos though, his ex is someone I talk to, we aint friends but we have mutual friends, my ex is someone he talks to, kinda like the same situation I have with his ex. HELP!!!
Saturday, 18 August 2007
TRAUMA
People, this sister is traumatized, you people wont believe it, right in front of my very eyes, it was horrible, it was gruesome, I started crying because that was all I could do.
It all started at a barbeque party earlier today, everyone was chilling, having a good time, but we all know naij boys now, a fight will always start.
A fight erupted between some guys outside, everyone was standing around waiting for punches to be thrown and it started and in less than two minutes one of the guys pulled out a knife and before anyone could shout yepa, he stabbed the guy in the side of his head, omo, the thing be like American film, everyone was silent for about 20 seconds and then the panic hit, there was a guy on the floor with blood gushing out of the side of his head.
The boys decided to rush him to the hospital and they asked to put him into the car of the guy who stabbed him, guess what the murafucker said, “his blood will get on my seats”, haaaaaaa, can you believe this nigga, after stabbing someone wont you be sober.
Well, the guy is okay for now, we are all praying he survives the night and as for the fool who stabbed him I hope he gets expelled knowing he won’t get any jail time since this is naij and he’s from a rich home.
People, your girl is traumatized, please pray for my boy oooh, ciao
It all started at a barbeque party earlier today, everyone was chilling, having a good time, but we all know naij boys now, a fight will always start.
A fight erupted between some guys outside, everyone was standing around waiting for punches to be thrown and it started and in less than two minutes one of the guys pulled out a knife and before anyone could shout yepa, he stabbed the guy in the side of his head, omo, the thing be like American film, everyone was silent for about 20 seconds and then the panic hit, there was a guy on the floor with blood gushing out of the side of his head.
The boys decided to rush him to the hospital and they asked to put him into the car of the guy who stabbed him, guess what the murafucker said, “his blood will get on my seats”, haaaaaaa, can you believe this nigga, after stabbing someone wont you be sober.
Well, the guy is okay for now, we are all praying he survives the night and as for the fool who stabbed him I hope he gets expelled knowing he won’t get any jail time since this is naij and he’s from a rich home.
People, your girl is traumatized, please pray for my boy oooh, ciao
Friday, 3 August 2007
ABUSE
NOTE:This is a figment of my imagination
Any minute now it would happen, I sat quietly in the dark waiting for the footsteps, everyone in the house was asleep. As the time passed I started to relax, maybe tonight would be different, I was drifting off into slumber land when I heard my door knob, I started shaking telling myself it was my baby sister, maybe she couldn’t sleep. I saw his face, the moonlight from my window made him look more menacing, I knew what was coming next, there was no use begging or crying, I was used to the pain, it had gone on for the past three years and there was nothing I could do about it, I remember when I tried to tell mum, it was like she wasn’t even hearing me, she told me I had been having nightmares, I constantly wondered if she actually knew what daddy did to me. I had thought about running away but Stacy was turning nine soon and that’s when it started for me, I needed to stay to protect her, as long as he kept coming to me, he wouldn’t go to her. After he finished, he lay on my bed and told me I was beautiful but he would soon stop coming for his nightly visits, I knew what he meant, Stacy was in trouble, what was I going to do, how do I stop him. I thought about this for a week and I came to a decision, I had only one choice.
He came into my room that night, it was like every other night, I waited till he got into bed with me, as he was going in and out of me I grabbed for it, I took it out of his closet earlier in the day, I had hidden it under my duvet, I shot him between the eyes and he lay lifeless on top of me, my mum was in my room in second, Stacy was right behind her. The first thing my mum exclaimed was Trina, what the hell did you do!!!, she saw her husband lying on top of me naked and all she could say was what did I do. She called the police, screaming on the phone that her husband has been shot, she got him off me and got him dressed.
When the police arrived, she screamed that they should take me away, saying I killed her husband, the police decided to talk to me in private and asked me why I had shot my dad, I told them the whole story and they took me in for a rape kit.
I’m now in a foster home, this is my third one, I currently see a psychiatrist because I cant sleep at night and I wont let my step dad a s much as hold my hand. My mum gave me up, she said she couldn’t stand to look at me since I was the one who murdered her husband, she never addressed the fact that her husband was molesting me and did so for a really long time, I’m really scared for Stacy, I hope this doesn’t happen to her with my mum turning a blind eye, I don’t get to see her so I don’t know if she’s okay but I pray for her everyday.
Any minute now it would happen, I sat quietly in the dark waiting for the footsteps, everyone in the house was asleep. As the time passed I started to relax, maybe tonight would be different, I was drifting off into slumber land when I heard my door knob, I started shaking telling myself it was my baby sister, maybe she couldn’t sleep. I saw his face, the moonlight from my window made him look more menacing, I knew what was coming next, there was no use begging or crying, I was used to the pain, it had gone on for the past three years and there was nothing I could do about it, I remember when I tried to tell mum, it was like she wasn’t even hearing me, she told me I had been having nightmares, I constantly wondered if she actually knew what daddy did to me. I had thought about running away but Stacy was turning nine soon and that’s when it started for me, I needed to stay to protect her, as long as he kept coming to me, he wouldn’t go to her. After he finished, he lay on my bed and told me I was beautiful but he would soon stop coming for his nightly visits, I knew what he meant, Stacy was in trouble, what was I going to do, how do I stop him. I thought about this for a week and I came to a decision, I had only one choice.
He came into my room that night, it was like every other night, I waited till he got into bed with me, as he was going in and out of me I grabbed for it, I took it out of his closet earlier in the day, I had hidden it under my duvet, I shot him between the eyes and he lay lifeless on top of me, my mum was in my room in second, Stacy was right behind her. The first thing my mum exclaimed was Trina, what the hell did you do!!!, she saw her husband lying on top of me naked and all she could say was what did I do. She called the police, screaming on the phone that her husband has been shot, she got him off me and got him dressed.
When the police arrived, she screamed that they should take me away, saying I killed her husband, the police decided to talk to me in private and asked me why I had shot my dad, I told them the whole story and they took me in for a rape kit.
I’m now in a foster home, this is my third one, I currently see a psychiatrist because I cant sleep at night and I wont let my step dad a s much as hold my hand. My mum gave me up, she said she couldn’t stand to look at me since I was the one who murdered her husband, she never addressed the fact that her husband was molesting me and did so for a really long time, I’m really scared for Stacy, I hope this doesn’t happen to her with my mum turning a blind eye, I don’t get to see her so I don’t know if she’s okay but I pray for her everyday.
Wednesday, 1 August 2007
BLOGGING
I've been away for ten days (my internet went off and my parents travelled) and it seemed like forever, i'm officially a blog addict. Thank you all for the stalker advice, maybe I should just give him the location of this page, lol, I think I'm handling it though.I'm off to catch up on my fav blogs, I'll put something up later.
P.S. Working peeps please I need some advice, whats the proper way of requesting for sponsorship from a company for things like class dinners.
P.S. Working peeps please I need some advice, whats the proper way of requesting for sponsorship from a company for things like class dinners.
Sunday, 22 July 2007
STALKER RELOADED
This nigga is impossible, in my last post I said someone gave me a gift that was really hard to return, well, it was Mr. Stalker himself, he got me some nice pair of shoes but I knew that accepting it would be the end of me, I cant even start talking bout the drama that went down when I was trying to return the shit. The guy started with rejecting it is rejecting him and so forth, that even gave me more incentive to return it.
The guy has since been harassing me with phone calls and text messages which I neither pick up or reply, the sad thing is I have to see him in class everyday, graduation should hurry up and come ooo, let me highlight some texts I’ve gotten from Mr. Psychopath.
*Ever since I met u, I realized something, you’re my future wife and I’ve stopped looking for someone to share my life with*(how does someone you’ve rejected a million times come off with this shit)
*Thanks for the prayer, somehow I know you have prayed for me, I was ill and I’m feeling much better now. I am nothing without you, please keep the prayers coming, my wife. Thanks* (I was like this is one deluded son of a bitch, I had to reply this, my reply is next)
*You’re a fucking delusional lunatic, I don’t know how many times you need to get rejected to get it into your fucking head that I would never want you, please stop harassing me and I am not joking*. (In some peoples heads this would dissuade anyone, but not this guy, you won’t believe what he sent next)
How are you? You’re a delusioned (his typo) lunatic- a special way of saying I love you (what the f#$*), if you keep rejecting me, you keep reducing my life span- its destiny, I’m ill again.
People, this is what I’m being subjected to, keep in mind that these are just a few of the texts. I have no idea what to do, this guy is making me loose my mind, if this was Yankee, I would have gone to the police, but alas this na Lagos, I need help, someone please help me.
Saw transformers today, it was off the hook, everyone should see it.
The guy has since been harassing me with phone calls and text messages which I neither pick up or reply, the sad thing is I have to see him in class everyday, graduation should hurry up and come ooo, let me highlight some texts I’ve gotten from Mr. Psychopath.
*Ever since I met u, I realized something, you’re my future wife and I’ve stopped looking for someone to share my life with*(how does someone you’ve rejected a million times come off with this shit)
*Thanks for the prayer, somehow I know you have prayed for me, I was ill and I’m feeling much better now. I am nothing without you, please keep the prayers coming, my wife. Thanks* (I was like this is one deluded son of a bitch, I had to reply this, my reply is next)
*You’re a fucking delusional lunatic, I don’t know how many times you need to get rejected to get it into your fucking head that I would never want you, please stop harassing me and I am not joking*. (In some peoples heads this would dissuade anyone, but not this guy, you won’t believe what he sent next)
How are you? You’re a delusioned (his typo) lunatic- a special way of saying I love you (what the f#$*), if you keep rejecting me, you keep reducing my life span- its destiny, I’m ill again.
People, this is what I’m being subjected to, keep in mind that these are just a few of the texts. I have no idea what to do, this guy is making me loose my mind, if this was Yankee, I would have gone to the police, but alas this na Lagos, I need help, someone please help me.
Saw transformers today, it was off the hook, everyone should see it.
Wednesday, 18 July 2007
UNILAG
School has started in all its glory, from lecturers screaming for you to get out of their offices to lecturers sexually harassing you, girls looking like they just stepped out of glamour mag. My first week of school was tres wonderful, if I could say so myself.
I started the week off with my stalker giving me a present I didn’t want, he dropped it off at my house while I was at the cinema, you won’t believe how much of a nightmare returning it was, it was drama after drama.
My second wonderful moment was when a lecturer thought it would be appropriate to put his hand down my shirt, I was bewildered for a moment and then I started shouting at the man like he was my little brother, I told him to apologize which he did eventually, it was really sick.
But the highlight of the week, wait for it, wait for it, drum roll please, my phone got stolen right under my nose, it was too sad I couldn’t cry, one minute it was on the table, turn around for a second and then it just disappears. I’m not as upset over the phone as I am over my contacts.
Okay, so that was my week, I wonder what the rest of the semester brings, people please pray for me to get money to buy a phone ooo, being that I don’t have an aristo or a boyfriend, this lady is an independent woman who’s as broke as hell, I wasn’t anticipating this when I was doing all that shopping for school. Ciao
I started the week off with my stalker giving me a present I didn’t want, he dropped it off at my house while I was at the cinema, you won’t believe how much of a nightmare returning it was, it was drama after drama.
My second wonderful moment was when a lecturer thought it would be appropriate to put his hand down my shirt, I was bewildered for a moment and then I started shouting at the man like he was my little brother, I told him to apologize which he did eventually, it was really sick.
But the highlight of the week, wait for it, wait for it, drum roll please, my phone got stolen right under my nose, it was too sad I couldn’t cry, one minute it was on the table, turn around for a second and then it just disappears. I’m not as upset over the phone as I am over my contacts.
Okay, so that was my week, I wonder what the rest of the semester brings, people please pray for me to get money to buy a phone ooo, being that I don’t have an aristo or a boyfriend, this lady is an independent woman who’s as broke as hell, I wasn’t anticipating this when I was doing all that shopping for school. Ciao
Friday, 6 July 2007
SAINTS OR SINNERS
The concept of right and wrong, we’re all supposed to know about it right, but believe it or not some people don’t. The question I always ask that usually evades me is, if someone lives a certain lifestyle that the person doesn’t know is wrong, where will the person go when they die.
Imagine a child that was born with witchcraft around him/her, therefore the child grows up thinking that is a way of life, if said child dies, do they go to hell. Some years back there was a small colony discovered in our very own naija, these people were prowling around near nakedness and worshipping idols, they didn’t know any different, if any of them died where would they go. In the Victorian days incest was a common practice, cousins got married; brother and sister had sexual relations and so forth, what was in store for them in the afterlife. In all these situations, these people didn’t know any better and were living according to their society, so will they suffer a fate they didn’t know they were headed to. In our courts of law they say ignorance is not a defense, does the same apply to a higher plane.
There was a guy sometime ago in naij that stole 4 million Naira from his employers, it was some hotel, and he gave the money to the church. Did he think he did something wrong, he didn’t keep a cent for himself, how would this person be judged. What about the man who doesn’t have a religion but believes in the existence of a higher being, he talks to this higher being, he’s a good person and does a lot of good for the world, he lives his life with minimal sin, but what happens to him after death because of the religion clause.
I’ve tried to answer these questions, but I cant, yet I always seem to wonder about these things, do you think you have an answer.
Imagine a child that was born with witchcraft around him/her, therefore the child grows up thinking that is a way of life, if said child dies, do they go to hell. Some years back there was a small colony discovered in our very own naija, these people were prowling around near nakedness and worshipping idols, they didn’t know any different, if any of them died where would they go. In the Victorian days incest was a common practice, cousins got married; brother and sister had sexual relations and so forth, what was in store for them in the afterlife. In all these situations, these people didn’t know any better and were living according to their society, so will they suffer a fate they didn’t know they were headed to. In our courts of law they say ignorance is not a defense, does the same apply to a higher plane.
There was a guy sometime ago in naij that stole 4 million Naira from his employers, it was some hotel, and he gave the money to the church. Did he think he did something wrong, he didn’t keep a cent for himself, how would this person be judged. What about the man who doesn’t have a religion but believes in the existence of a higher being, he talks to this higher being, he’s a good person and does a lot of good for the world, he lives his life with minimal sin, but what happens to him after death because of the religion clause.
I’ve tried to answer these questions, but I cant, yet I always seem to wonder about these things, do you think you have an answer.
Saturday, 30 June 2007
CHIP ON THE SHOULDER
Hey everyone, been MIA because that last post got me kinda weak, so I spaced out for a bit, but I’m back. Was watching pride and prejudice today and all I could think bout was how the hell do they have sex being that they are all proper and shit, she’ll probably go, (using the Victorian British accent) oh Mr. Darcy, do give it to me a tad bit harder than you were just now, lawl, okay that was a random thought.
Back to the topic, do you guys notice how a lot of people in naij have a chip on their shoulder, I went out today and I had to pop into some office, since I was in a hurry, I didn’t park too well but I made sure not to block anyone in. When I got out and was about to get into my car, I heard a guy screaming at me (apparently he was the security man) why did you park like this ehn, if our oga sees this one now, you people sef, the guy was screaming ready to rain insults on my head. I then calmly replied, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was wrong to park this way, the guy was so obviously taken aback, it was laughable, he had geared up for a shouting match.
I think it’s just a way for some people to feel powerful, a lot of people do it. You go to an office and the receptionist is especially rude to you, you go in a shop and you’re looking around and the shop girls are like eyeing you cause they think you’re wasting their time, you’re talking to some guy and some girl comes up to him without acknowledging you the list goes on and on. They say Nigerians are one of the happiest people in the world, but most of them are rude and obnoxious for the most part. I think its cause most people are frustrated and they just keep it all inside, u know how everyone wants to seem perfect, like I know this woman who told my mum her husband hasn’t touched her in two years, now that has got to be highly frustrating. People should just go get therapy, what you think.
Random rant- I saw dream girls for the first time today (whateva, I know everyone else in the world has seen it), every time I have to say no, I sing no, no, no, no way, I’m trying to feel like Jennifer Hudson.
Who saw the BET awards, I think ciara has gmynorexia, she’s so thin, muscular and she’s got no boobs, It was not a pretty sight to me. Ciao y’all.
Back to the topic, do you guys notice how a lot of people in naij have a chip on their shoulder, I went out today and I had to pop into some office, since I was in a hurry, I didn’t park too well but I made sure not to block anyone in. When I got out and was about to get into my car, I heard a guy screaming at me (apparently he was the security man) why did you park like this ehn, if our oga sees this one now, you people sef, the guy was screaming ready to rain insults on my head. I then calmly replied, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was wrong to park this way, the guy was so obviously taken aback, it was laughable, he had geared up for a shouting match.
I think it’s just a way for some people to feel powerful, a lot of people do it. You go to an office and the receptionist is especially rude to you, you go in a shop and you’re looking around and the shop girls are like eyeing you cause they think you’re wasting their time, you’re talking to some guy and some girl comes up to him without acknowledging you the list goes on and on. They say Nigerians are one of the happiest people in the world, but most of them are rude and obnoxious for the most part. I think its cause most people are frustrated and they just keep it all inside, u know how everyone wants to seem perfect, like I know this woman who told my mum her husband hasn’t touched her in two years, now that has got to be highly frustrating. People should just go get therapy, what you think.
Random rant- I saw dream girls for the first time today (whateva, I know everyone else in the world has seen it), every time I have to say no, I sing no, no, no, no way, I’m trying to feel like Jennifer Hudson.
Who saw the BET awards, I think ciara has gmynorexia, she’s so thin, muscular and she’s got no boobs, It was not a pretty sight to me. Ciao y’all.
Saturday, 23 June 2007
THE RAPE (concluding part)
As I was walking to the bus stop, I started to reflect on what happened, did I just get raped, was it my fault, what did I do wrong. When I got home, I took a long hot bath, that was the end of my holiday. I was withdrawn the rest of the time I spent wiv my cousins, they just thot I was missing my man. I thot why bother going to the police, I’m not even in my own country and the scandal, what would my parents say, so I didn’t tell anyone. He used a condom (I was like, if he used a condom is it still rape), I was too confused.
When I got home, between tears I told my man he comforted me and told me everything would be fine, I was so grateful for having him. I couldn’t stand anyone touching me for the first couple of months, my man helped me through it all, after a while the trauma started fading and it just seemed like a nightmare.
I talked to some people about the rape issue and it was crazy some of the responses I got, I would usually say, oh I heard about this on T.V. or I read this somewhere, I’m sorry guys but a lot of you are sons of b******. Someone told me he couldn’t touch his girlfriend if she was raped, another said what trauma, she’ll get over it, she wasn’t a virgin, was she, another said it would probably just be like rough sex, the point is that noone got it, they all thought as long as she wasn’t a virgin and it was just one guy, therefore it wasn’t serious, some people even said maybe she was asking for it. I was like WOW, is this what people really think, it was really sad.
My man made me realize I was raped and convinced me to stop blaming myself, he said it was not my fault and after a while I started believing him, I’m so grateful he was in my life back then. Its sad how people don’t take this issue seriously in naij, some mothers would even blame their child when they are raped when they need comfort and reassurance. The incident actually made me a stronger person, we all have trauma in our lives, some worse than others, we shouldn’t let it break us down, we should learn and grow from it.
Next post will be cheerful, scouts’ honour.
When I got home, between tears I told my man he comforted me and told me everything would be fine, I was so grateful for having him. I couldn’t stand anyone touching me for the first couple of months, my man helped me through it all, after a while the trauma started fading and it just seemed like a nightmare.
I talked to some people about the rape issue and it was crazy some of the responses I got, I would usually say, oh I heard about this on T.V. or I read this somewhere, I’m sorry guys but a lot of you are sons of b******. Someone told me he couldn’t touch his girlfriend if she was raped, another said what trauma, she’ll get over it, she wasn’t a virgin, was she, another said it would probably just be like rough sex, the point is that noone got it, they all thought as long as she wasn’t a virgin and it was just one guy, therefore it wasn’t serious, some people even said maybe she was asking for it. I was like WOW, is this what people really think, it was really sad.
My man made me realize I was raped and convinced me to stop blaming myself, he said it was not my fault and after a while I started believing him, I’m so grateful he was in my life back then. Its sad how people don’t take this issue seriously in naij, some mothers would even blame their child when they are raped when they need comfort and reassurance. The incident actually made me a stronger person, we all have trauma in our lives, some worse than others, we shouldn’t let it break us down, we should learn and grow from it.
Next post will be cheerful, scouts’ honour.
Friday, 22 June 2007
THE RAPE
This is really hard for me to write cause it brings back memories I have tried hard to put behind me, but I guess this is a form of therapy so here goes.
It was one of those summer holidays and this one was especially long cause my uni was on strike as is customary to naij unis, I couldn’t wait to get out of the country for a well deserved vacation. Unfortunately, my boyfriend was going to the states and I was on my way to London, I was so sad, I wouldn’t get to see him for two whole months but my consolation was that we would talk on the phone almost everyday, with that note we kissed and said our goodbyes. I was looking forward to a great summer, I had no idea it was one I would never forget.
It all started one day when I met up wiv some friends, they brought along a guy that they go to school with and we all went out to see a movie. After the movie, the guy asked for my number and I gave it to him, we started talking on the phone and I made it clear to him that I had a boyfriend and all we would be were friends and he seemed alright with that. We met up a few times and everything was all good and we became friends.
One day, I met him at the station near his house, we were off to see a movie, and then he suddenly remembered that he left his wallet at home and he had to go get it and I was like okay let’s go. When we got to his house he proceeded to show me around his crib, as he was showing me his room, I sat on the bed and started looking at pictures. He started kissing me and I told him to stop, he didn’t listen, I started to push him off and he started to grip me harder, I began to shout and scream, he forced me on my back, I started to beg, he told me he knew I wanted him and I should stop fronting, I started to cry and beg, he told me to shut up or he’ll dump my clothes in water. That’s when it happened, I never experienced such pain, I felt so helpless, I just closed my eyes, sobbing and praying for everything to be over. He got off me and I got dressed, as I was leaving he tried to kiss me, I cried all the way home.
To be continued……………………………
It was one of those summer holidays and this one was especially long cause my uni was on strike as is customary to naij unis, I couldn’t wait to get out of the country for a well deserved vacation. Unfortunately, my boyfriend was going to the states and I was on my way to London, I was so sad, I wouldn’t get to see him for two whole months but my consolation was that we would talk on the phone almost everyday, with that note we kissed and said our goodbyes. I was looking forward to a great summer, I had no idea it was one I would never forget.
It all started one day when I met up wiv some friends, they brought along a guy that they go to school with and we all went out to see a movie. After the movie, the guy asked for my number and I gave it to him, we started talking on the phone and I made it clear to him that I had a boyfriend and all we would be were friends and he seemed alright with that. We met up a few times and everything was all good and we became friends.
One day, I met him at the station near his house, we were off to see a movie, and then he suddenly remembered that he left his wallet at home and he had to go get it and I was like okay let’s go. When we got to his house he proceeded to show me around his crib, as he was showing me his room, I sat on the bed and started looking at pictures. He started kissing me and I told him to stop, he didn’t listen, I started to push him off and he started to grip me harder, I began to shout and scream, he forced me on my back, I started to beg, he told me he knew I wanted him and I should stop fronting, I started to cry and beg, he told me to shut up or he’ll dump my clothes in water. That’s when it happened, I never experienced such pain, I felt so helpless, I just closed my eyes, sobbing and praying for everything to be over. He got off me and I got dressed, as I was leaving he tried to kiss me, I cried all the way home.
To be continued……………………………
Thursday, 21 June 2007
7 THINGS
There’s this 60 question thingie going around but I don’t think I wanna do that cause its too damn long and I don’t think anyone would be inclined to go through it being that I’ not a blogiwood celeb lol,so I’m just gonna do the 7 things you don’t know bout me.
1. I wash my hands like a 100 times a day, I have this obsession about cleanliness and I usually find myself tidying up everywhere I go.
2. I can’t sleep on the same bed with a girl, be it a single, double or quadruple bed, I blame my mum, she never let me go for sleepovers when I was younger. It’s so bad that whenever anyone of my friends has to sleep over I usually sleep on the couch (they all say I’m a closet lesbian and I’m scared of what I might do to them, lol).
3. I have a very bad temper but I’m very patient, does that make sense. I don’t get angry that easily, I usually let things slide but if you piss me off, well, let me just say it aint a pretty site.
4. I would rather buy a pair of shoes than buy food (its sad, I know).
5. I’m addicted to exercise but I could never diet, the thought of eating only healthy food scares me, I’d rather spend the extra 30 minutes on the treadmill (besides eating healthy is more expensive).
6. I love Sundays since I get to do anything I want, its “me” day and no one can take it away from me, plus I get to sleep late (no morning jog, no church).
7. When I was younger, I thought I would grow up and save the world, end world hunger, and stuff, I try to help the needy, I’m still working up to saving the world.
CONFESSION TIME
Okay, I'm sure evryone will be happy to know I told my girl, it went okay by all standards, the girl is really sensitive and really insecure bout her body, she's really skinny and therefore lacking in some areas and she always gets really upset when anyone says anything bout it, most times you have to tiptoe around her when it comes to issues like this. This is how it went.
Psykotik: girl wasup, whats been going on wiv you
Friend: nothing really, Oh, I called that guy and we've started talking now
Psykotik: thats cool, speaking about Mr Hot, did I tell you he was sending me texts and he called me once or twice,(she's looking at me funny)
it was nothing really, I think he was just trying to be friendly.
Friend: na wa for you this man magnet, remind me never to take you when I'm man hunting and I aint introducing you to my next boyfriend until we are goin strong.(she's laughing)
Psykotik: (still feeling a little tension in the air) you got jokes, it wasn't like that, nyways he has stopped contacting me, so its all good.
Friend: hmmm, whatever. so about that thing (she starts talking bout something else)
So, I'm guessing it went well, after the conversation we said goodbye and we didn't speak about it. I'm hoping she gets over being upset, its funny how my friends think getting a man would be really easy for me, they all go you have all the assets,lol, then why haven't I found someone who would sweep me off my feet and make me forget the EX.
Psykotik: girl wasup, whats been going on wiv you
Friend: nothing really, Oh, I called that guy and we've started talking now
Psykotik: thats cool, speaking about Mr Hot, did I tell you he was sending me texts and he called me once or twice,(she's looking at me funny)
it was nothing really, I think he was just trying to be friendly.
Friend: na wa for you this man magnet, remind me never to take you when I'm man hunting and I aint introducing you to my next boyfriend until we are goin strong.(she's laughing)
Psykotik: (still feeling a little tension in the air) you got jokes, it wasn't like that, nyways he has stopped contacting me, so its all good.
Friend: hmmm, whatever. so about that thing (she starts talking bout something else)
So, I'm guessing it went well, after the conversation we said goodbye and we didn't speak about it. I'm hoping she gets over being upset, its funny how my friends think getting a man would be really easy for me, they all go you have all the assets,lol, then why haven't I found someone who would sweep me off my feet and make me forget the EX.
Saturday, 16 June 2007
WHAT???
I just had to write this down, na wa for these people we call men. Some days ago, I and a friend went to see some guy I know, as we were sitting in my car, my friend was going on to the guy about how she doesn't have a boyfriend and doesn't he have any friends he can hook her up with. As he was explaining to her that all his friends are either married, engaged or in serious relationships his younger brothers friend passed by, he called the guy and introduced us, as a GOOD FRIEND I kept quiet and let him talk to my friend (even tho the guy was really cute), I was talking to my friend and we were feeling like cupid cause they seemed to hit it off, the guy got our numbers and left.
That is how the guy started sending me texts, I actually thought nothing of it at first, then I saw my friend and asked her about the guy, she was like she hasn't heard from the guy yet. I really dont understand what is happening ooo, is the guy trying to hit on me? should I tell my friend whats happening? I dont know ooo. She asked if she should call the guy, I told her to wait till next week and then send a text if he hasn't called. I'm waiting to see what happens next...............to be continued
That is how the guy started sending me texts, I actually thought nothing of it at first, then I saw my friend and asked her about the guy, she was like she hasn't heard from the guy yet. I really dont understand what is happening ooo, is the guy trying to hit on me? should I tell my friend whats happening? I dont know ooo. She asked if she should call the guy, I told her to wait till next week and then send a text if he hasn't called. I'm waiting to see what happens next...............to be continued
Friday, 15 June 2007
THE STALKER (PART 1)
There’s this guy who has been stalking me for about 3 years now, according to him, he’s in love. His philosophy is that “there are no impossibilities in life, just difficulties”, that’s all good and dandy but if you haven’t gotten some in 3 years, it doesn’t look like you’ll be getting any, ever.
It all started when I started when I got into my second year of uni, I was a direct entry student, so I went straight to second year, he was one of the first people that came to talk to me, so I got to know him and his friends. I’m a really nice person so in no time I was talking to half of the class, but this guy took my friendliness to mean something else, I quickly cleared the air and told him I was in a serious relationship, I thought that was the end of that, but it was only the beginning. The nigga started harassing me with text messages, sending me airtime (which I always sent back), believe me, I tried everything, I was nice, nasty, reasonable, nothing worked, I decided to let him tire himself out.
Just when I thought I was off the hook cus he started harassing a friend of mine in another department, then, the craziest thing happened. My friend gave him a piece of her mind, she did things that I wouldn’t have the heart to do, like embarrass the boy in public and things of the sort, you wouldn’t believe what happened, the guy sent me a text saying he knows I was the one that put my friend up to treating him like that, in general he was saying I wanted him, Oh my days, I couldn’t believe the nerve of this guy.
Since then, I don’t pick his calls, if only I could block his texts, I see him in class and I say hi (cus I’m so nice) but it stops there. I honestly think he’s psycho, I can bet if he could get away with it, he’ll probably kidnap me and lock me up in a basement somewhere, lol. Believe me, there are more than enough stories surrounding the stalker but it can’t all fit into one post, so we’ll get back to him later, that’s all folks.
It all started when I started when I got into my second year of uni, I was a direct entry student, so I went straight to second year, he was one of the first people that came to talk to me, so I got to know him and his friends. I’m a really nice person so in no time I was talking to half of the class, but this guy took my friendliness to mean something else, I quickly cleared the air and told him I was in a serious relationship, I thought that was the end of that, but it was only the beginning. The nigga started harassing me with text messages, sending me airtime (which I always sent back), believe me, I tried everything, I was nice, nasty, reasonable, nothing worked, I decided to let him tire himself out.
Just when I thought I was off the hook cus he started harassing a friend of mine in another department, then, the craziest thing happened. My friend gave him a piece of her mind, she did things that I wouldn’t have the heart to do, like embarrass the boy in public and things of the sort, you wouldn’t believe what happened, the guy sent me a text saying he knows I was the one that put my friend up to treating him like that, in general he was saying I wanted him, Oh my days, I couldn’t believe the nerve of this guy.
Since then, I don’t pick his calls, if only I could block his texts, I see him in class and I say hi (cus I’m so nice) but it stops there. I honestly think he’s psycho, I can bet if he could get away with it, he’ll probably kidnap me and lock me up in a basement somewhere, lol. Believe me, there are more than enough stories surrounding the stalker but it can’t all fit into one post, so we’ll get back to him later, that’s all folks.
Monday, 11 June 2007
GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS ,GIRLS
Ever since I can remember, I was always one of the guys, all my best friends were male, I enjoyed the company of the opposite sex. I just thought girls had too much drama, so I never got really close to them. In high school, I had some female friends and it didn’t end well, so that experience convinced me even more that I couldn’t be a girly girl. Its not like I’m a tomboy or anything like that, I just wasn’t feeling the whole backstabbing thing and other things females get up to. I have girlfriends I talk to and hang out with but we just aint that close.
I met some girls in uni and we sorta fell into this clique thing and next thing I know they were becoming like my best friends and I threw all my notions away thinking they were childish and what not. We had tons of fun together, we went through the good, bad and the ugly. Then all of a sudden before you could say destinys child, the group started disbanding, miss A decided to stop talking to everybody except miss B, it was so unbelievable, not even hi. At first I thot it was PMS, then I was like maybe she’s mad cus miss C hooked her up with some guy who was treating her bad, but what did I have to do with that. I eventually started saying hi and I asked her if she was okay, she just went of course I’m okay, what are you talking about, miss C didn’t even try and thot the babe should go fuck herself, miss B was even a bigger bitch cus she pretended like nothing was going on, it was just a messed up scene.
I couldn’t believe what was happening, so all my notions were correct, this was just the tip of the iceberg, outsiders started telling me what miss A and miss B were saying about me behind my back, what the hell did I do to these girls, I cant give all the details but it all just made me sad. Miss C is still my friend, I still talk to miss B (lip service), and I’m cordial to miss A. Why do girls do this to each other, why do we have to breed jealousy and hatred from petty things, I think I’m done with the best friends thing, I have female friends but I aint putting them close to my heart.
I met some girls in uni and we sorta fell into this clique thing and next thing I know they were becoming like my best friends and I threw all my notions away thinking they were childish and what not. We had tons of fun together, we went through the good, bad and the ugly. Then all of a sudden before you could say destinys child, the group started disbanding, miss A decided to stop talking to everybody except miss B, it was so unbelievable, not even hi. At first I thot it was PMS, then I was like maybe she’s mad cus miss C hooked her up with some guy who was treating her bad, but what did I have to do with that. I eventually started saying hi and I asked her if she was okay, she just went of course I’m okay, what are you talking about, miss C didn’t even try and thot the babe should go fuck herself, miss B was even a bigger bitch cus she pretended like nothing was going on, it was just a messed up scene.
I couldn’t believe what was happening, so all my notions were correct, this was just the tip of the iceberg, outsiders started telling me what miss A and miss B were saying about me behind my back, what the hell did I do to these girls, I cant give all the details but it all just made me sad. Miss C is still my friend, I still talk to miss B (lip service), and I’m cordial to miss A. Why do girls do this to each other, why do we have to breed jealousy and hatred from petty things, I think I’m done with the best friends thing, I have female friends but I aint putting them close to my heart.
Sunday, 10 June 2007
THE BEGINNING OR IS IT THE END
I’m not a troubled girl, believe me, in fact, if you met me, you’d think I was one of the happiest people in the world. 8 months ago, my world came crashing down, the love of my life left me, this may seem trivial to you but to me it was like my world had just crumbled. I went from child to adult with this person, he was my first everything, I went to him for everything, he was part of me, he was the most important thing in my life after God and family, and it all came crashing down one day. We had been having problems for about a year and after a while, he just couldn’t do it anymore, he felt you shouldn’t have to work so hard to be happy. I cried, no wailed for days, weeks, and months and that’s when the trouble really started. I didn’t think it would be too hard to move on, when I had a man I had so many guys chasing after me, it was crazy, but now those men were nowhere to be found, it’s not like I haven’t had toasters but they are few, far between and not ideal. My self confidence has taken a nose dive, I don’t look at myself in the mirror anymore cause I hate what I see, its funny cause I used to think I was as hot as beyonce but my mind doesn’t work like that anymore. Everyone says I’m so independent, they wish they could be as self sufficient as I am, but I’m not independent, I need someone o tell me I’m beautiful, someone to tell me they care and they would always be there for me, someone to tell me they love me, just someone who would ask me how I’m doing and really care about my answer. It just hasn’t been my year, I realized a few things about life and people, I lost a few friends but that will be in my next post. Ciao.
HELLO BLOGWORLD
Hey, I happened on the the wonderful world of blogging and decided maybe this is what I need right now, a place where I can say what I’m really feeling and really express myself (and its cheaper than therapy). Truth be told, I’ve been having some major emotional saga and I think I’m still traumatized, due to the fact that I can’t function as well as I used to, funny thing is I’ve perfected the act of portraying total control, I actually convince myself sometimes. I’m a really private person, so my friends never really know what goes on in my head, I hate showing weakness, so I’m always the perfect one with no problems and everyone just wishes they were as strong as I am, if only they knew I was bursting at the seams. Don’t get it twisted, I aint suicidal or anything like that but I’m human and I get depressed and when there’s no one to talk to, it escalates and that’s when you start thinking of stupid things you can do to numb the pain. In the light of keeping my post short, I’ll write about what got me like this in the next post, it all really started 8 months ago (still feels like yesterday though).
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